Y is it that when someone that is so close to u and you know the better side of them and their potential that they can become and what they used to be... that they disappoint u almost every time.... for example they walk in the door u expect them to sit and talk to the one person that they haven't meet yet or sit there and talk to to one that they r supposed to love..... but they turn around and walk out ........would rater sit in an empty house then sit in a full house listening to people that love them.... they sit there and yell at u while u stare back at them thinking of the relationship that you used to have... a relationship that will never be again.... u sit up at night wandering if ur relationship that u once had with that person will ever be somewhat normal again...... but then u realize that ur living in a memory that will never be again..... u sit there thinking about how u can improve ur self so maybe they will notice u more then they want that........ but then the reality sits in and u finally realize that u can never change them and never will..... that they have to want to change in order for it to happen...... u talk to people about them and ask there option but all they do is say that u r to hard on them and that some of this is ur fault..... then in ur mind u start to think that maybe if it never happened then it would just be the same.....the memory of our past relationship and what was still runs throw my head every time u get this way........ and the hope of what was and what could be keeps us driving to the very end i no u can beat this so if u love us the way u say that u love us then u will change for us....

i hate people that judge others even when they don't no them i wish people would just give me a chance instead of just giving me a look and talking behind my back they ALWAYS think that I'm the weird one..... when they don't even give me a chance to explain what it is that i was trying to say... they always ignore me and look the other way like i have leprosy or something....................................... DO ME A FAVOR AND GIVE ME A CHANCE I MAY NOT BE THE PERSON YOU THINK I AM..... even the ones that think they are nice no me... look again your not

good...week

this past week was amazing because i turned 18 and a REALLY good friend of mine that i haven't seen or talked to in five years called me up on my birthday and we are going to hang out this weekend...... i cant wait.... and all the drama that i have been lately has slowed down alot.... so in all there is nothing really new